THE CONSTITUTION OF
SARCASTIC DESK

TERMS OF SERVICE // UPDATED APRIL 18, 2026

OVERVIEW

This website is operated by Sarcastic Desk. Throughout the site, the terms “we�? “us�?and “our�?refer to our team of 5 people who are just trying to survive the work week. By visiting our site and/or purchasing from us, you engage in our “Service�?and agree to be bound by these Terms of Service.

SECTION 1 - ONLINE STORE TERMS

By agreeing to these Terms, you represent that you are at least the age of majority in your state. Don’t use our products for any illegal or unauthorized purpose. If you use our desk mats to plan a bank heist, we aren't liable, but we'd be impressed by your planning skills.

SECTION 2 - GENERAL CONDITIONS

We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone for any reason at any time. Your content (not including credit card info) may be transferred unencrypted. Credit card information is always encrypted during transfer over networks. We aren't that sarcastic about security.

SECTION 3 - ACCURACY OF INFORMATION

WE ARE HUMANS, NOT BOTS. We are not responsible if information made available on this site is not accurate, complete or current. The material on this site is for general amusement and information. Any reliance on the material on this site is at your own risk. Monitor the site for changes yourself; we're busy drinking coffee.

SECTION 4 - PRICE MODIFICATIONS

Prices for our products are subject to change without notice. We shall not be liable to you or to any third-party for any modification, price change, or discontinuance of the Service.

SECTION 5 - PRODUCTS & COLOR ACCURACY

Certain products may be available exclusively online. We have made every effort to display colors accurately, but your monitor might be lying to you. We don’t warrant that the quality of any products will meet your 100% subjective expectations. They are desk mats, not magic carpets.

SECTION 6 - BILLING ACCURACY

We reserve the right to refuse any order you place with us. We may, in our sole discretion, limit or cancel quantities purchased per person or per household. Don't try to scalp our mats; that's just weird.

SECTION 7 - OPTIONAL TOOLS

We may provide you with access to third-party tools. You acknowledge that we provide access to such tools ”as is�?without any warranties. Your use of optional tools is at your own risk. If the tool breaks, talk to the tool-maker, not us.

SECTION 8 - THIRD-PARTY LINKS

Third-party links on this site may direct you to websites that are not affiliated with us. We are not responsible for examining the content of third-party sites. We are not liable for any harm or damages related to the purchase of goods from third-parties.

SECTION 9 - USER COMMENTS & FEEDBACK

If you send us creative ideas, suggestions, or comments, you agree that we may, at any time, without restriction, edit, copy, and use them. We are under no obligation to pay you for your genius ideas. If we use your joke on a mat, you're welcome for the fame.

SECTION 10 - PERSONAL INFORMATION

Your submission of personal information through the store is governed by our Privacy Policy. Go read that if you're bored.

SECTION 11 - ERRORS & OMISSIONS

Occasionally there may be typographical errors or inaccuracies on our site. We reserve the right to correct any errors and to cancel orders if any information is inaccurate at any time without prior notice.

SECTION 12 - PROHIBITED USES

In addition to other prohibitions, you are prohibited from using the site: (a) for any unlawful purpose; (b) to harass, abuse, or discriminate; (c) to upload viruses; (d) to scrape our data; (e) to steal our sarcastic tone (that's our intellectual property).

SECTION 13 - LIMITATION OF LIABILITY

THE ULTIMATE DISCLAIMER: We do not guarantee that your use of our service will be error-free. You expressly agree that your use of the service is at your sole risk. In no case shall Sarcastic Desk be liable for any injury, loss, claim, or consequential damages of any kind, including lost profits or lost crypto gains. If you liquidate your account, it's not the mat's fault.

SECTION 14 - INDEMNIFICATION

You agree to indemnify and hold Sarcastic Desk and our team of 5 harmless from any claim or demand, including reasonable attorneys�?fees, made by any third-party due to your breach of these Terms of Service.

SECTION 15 - SEVERABILITY

If any provision of these Terms is determined to be unlawful or void, such provision shall nonetheless be enforceable to the fullest extent permitted by law, and the rest of the terms stay alive.

SECTION 16 - TERMINATION

These Terms of Service are effective unless and until terminated by either you or us. You may terminate these Terms at any time by notifying us that you no longer wish to use our Services, though we will be sad to see you go.

SECTION 17 - ENTIRE AGREEMENT

These Terms of Service and any policies posted by us constitute the entire agreement between you and us. Any ambiguities in the interpretation shall not be construed against us just because we wrote them.

SECTION 18 - GOVERNING LAW

These Terms of Service and any separate agreements shall be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of the United States.

SECTION 19 - CHANGES TO TERMS

We reserve the right, at our sole discretion, to update or replace any part of these Terms of Service by posting updates to our website. It is your responsibility to check our website periodically for changes.

SECTION 20 - CONTACT INFORMATION

Questions about the Terms of Service should be sent to us at support@SarcasticDesk.com.